Pipistrello's Commonplace Book

For anyone who is tired of life, the thrilling life of a spy should be the very finest recuperator. Chief Scout, Sir Robert Baden-Powell, My Adventures as a Spy , 1915

Dr. JAEGER'S Sanitary Woollen System IS HIS NOW FAMOUS DISCOVERY THAT 1. Health depends on an active Skin. --2. The Skin will only act properly when the covering is pervious throughout. --3. The only pervious covering is porous Animal Wool, other materials, especially linen and cotton, being Impervious to the vapour exhaled by the skin, the repression of which is most injurious. Health is Ensured on Common Sense Principles, BY USING DR. JAEGER'S SANITARY WOOLLEN CLOTHING & BEDDING. COOL IN SUMMER, WARM IN WINTER. (Highest Award of Gold Medal, Health Exhibition, London, 1884.) Dr. Jaeger's Wool System Catalogue, 1886

Servants in decently-conducted houses are seldom over-worked. The men-servants in particular, very commonly suffer in health from the want of out-door exercise, and of anywhere to go, and anything to do, when they are off duty. Quarrelling, smashing china, flirting, with sudden and inconvenient changes soon after ... [B]etter do without the charwoman. She is more irresponsible than a house-servant, and less easy to supervise. She breaks, and leaves the blame on others. She not seldom brings in diseases, and carries away soap and candle-ends, and odd tea-cups ... Mary Eliza Haweis, The art of housekeeping: a bridal garland, 1889

Pythagoras as a mater of fact is at the root of all geom. Instead of growing grapes figs dates and other produce of greece Pythagoras aplied himself to triangles and learned some astounding things about them which hav been inflicted on boys ever since. Whenever he found a new thing about a triangle Pythagoras who had no shame jumped out of his bath and shouted 'Q.E.D' through the streets of athens its a wonder they never locked him up. To do geom you have to make a lot of things equal to each other when you can see perfectly well that they don't. This agane is due to Pythagoras and it formed much of his conversation at brekfast. PYTHAGORAS ( helping himself to porridge) : Hmm. I see the sum of the squares on AB and BC = the square on AC. WIFE: Dear dear. PYTHAGORAS: I'm not surprised, not surprised at all. I've been saying that would come for years. WIFE: Yes dear. PYTHAGORAS: Now they'll have to d o something about it. More tea plea

That we lie successfully to each other is natural; that we successfully lie to ourselves is a natural wonder. And that the three sciences central to human understanding - psychology, anthropology, and sociology - successfully and continually lie to themselves, lie to each other, lie to their students, and lie to the public at large, must constitute a paramount wonder of a scientific century. Were their condition generally known, they would be classified as public drunks. ... Molecular biology lies far from the humanistic sciences that I indict. Yet all scientists must accept the responsibility for hiding from public view, so that scientific infallibility may be preserved, the picture that many know so well. It is the picture of cultural anthropology, behaviourist psychology, and environmentalist sociology like three drunken friends leaning against a lamppost in the enchantment of euphoria, all convinced that they are holding up the eternal light when in truth they hold up noth

"I never argue. I explain." The Dowager Countess of Grantham

"My name is Michael Caine, and I am a nosey neighbour." Delicious catchphrase on Harry Enfield & Chums AND Stella Street

AN ARMY OF ANTS Of all species on the Earth, excluding bacteria, Ants number the greatest. Number of Ants estimated Worldwide: One quadrillion or one million billion Number of Species of Ant recorded:  Worldwide: approx. 15,000 Australia: 1,621 Queensland: 1,458 United States: 792 Canberra: 59 United Kingdom: 54 Black Mountain, Canberra: 11

I dined this day with my respected chief, Lieutenant-General Sir Maurice O'Connell at his beautiful villa, Tarmons [in Sydney's Potts Point] ... The family likeness between an Australian and an Old Country dinner party became, however, less striking when I found myself sipping doubtfully, but soon swallowing with relish, a plate of wallabi-tail soup, followed by a slice of boiled schnapper, with oyster sauce. A haunch of kangaroo venison helped to convince me that I was not in Belgravia. A delicate wing of wonga wonga pigeon with bread sauce, and a dessert of plantains and loquots, guavas and mandarine oranges, pomegranates and cherimoyas, landed my imagination at length fairly at the Antipodes. Godfrey Mundy, dinner guest, 1846

Maddening Hues FOR LIPS AND CHEEKS A NEW KIND OF LIPSTICK ... A NEW KIND OF DRY ROUGE WORK MIRACLES IN RED Maddening hues, yes! Colors that thrill, taunt and tempt! Truly enough (and you'll know it the instant you try them) such rapturous, wicked reds have never been used in lipstick or rouge before. But there's more reason than that for the soul-stirring madness so generously imparted by SAVAGE Lipstick and the new SAVAGE Rouge.  &c. &c. 20c AT ALL TEN CENT STORES "Savage" brand cosmetics advertisement, popular in 1935.

But it is a mistake to divide the world neatly into good and evil, black and white without shades of grey, in a manner that eliminates the need to learn more about those with whom one is dealing. For an unreflective person, having a sense of "moral clarity" that disregards the shadings in human motivation and conduct can be a vice, not a virtue. Peter Singer, 2004

SPICEL Healer, Astrologer, Occultist THE WONDER HANDKERCHIEF Formerly distributed privately, my healing handkerchiefs are now publicly available for the first time. Good health and abundant prosperity for you. Banish poverty, banish sickness, amazingly powerful. Limited number sent out weekly. Each one bears my mark and unobtainable elsewhere. Simple instructions enclosed. Price £1. Send now. &c. Advertisement in "Prediction" Magazine International Edition, March 1964

PERICOLOSO DI MORTE! Our favourite warning signs in Italy and now the catch cry for any DIY about the home

Dîner de la Saint Sylvestre Vendredi 31 Décembre 1999 Table de Monsieur & Madame Pipistrello Noix de Saint-Jacques Rôties au Caviar ***** Terrine de Foie Gras Frais du Château Et Son Verre de Beaume de Venise ***** Salade de Homard Tiède à l'huile de Noix, au Safran et aux Endives Croquantes ***** Granité au Pamplemousse et à l'Hydromel ***** Gigue de Chevreuil à la Grand Veneur ***** Assortiement des Fromages Affinés ***** Assiette Surprise de la Nouvelle Année ***** Café & Mignardises  New Year's Eve Dinner at the Château de Remaisnil, Picardy, France

For him that stealeth, or Borroweth and Returneth not this Book from its owner, let it change into a Serpent in his hands and rend him. Let him be struck with Palsy, and all his members blasted. Let him languish in Pain crying aloud for mercy, and let there be no Surcease to his Agony till he sink to Dissolution. Let Bookworms gnaw his Entrails in token of the Worm that dieth not, and when at last he goeth to his final Punishment let the flames of Hell consume him forever and aye. Medieval Book Curse from the Monastery of San Pedro in Barcelona

"Tea is for gossip. Brandy for shock." Lady Edna Forbes-Leith to Father Brown, "The Truth in the Wine"

On oiling your sewing machine two or three times a week: "Neglect to do this will shorten the life of your machine and cause you trouble and annoyance." Singer Sewing Machine No. 99 Instruction Booklet, 1932

In the horse race of life, always back Self-Interest. It's the only one that's trying. Paul Keating, former Prime Minister of Australia

When you borrow trouble against what might be, you neglect the moment you have now to enjoy. The man who worries about what will next be happening to him loses this moment in dread of the next, and poisons the next with pre-judgment. Robin Hobb, Ship of Magic, 1998